The Dating Procedure
by VeryBerry Rebecca
Summary: It's the end of their first date, but if Penny was expecting the conventional ending to a first date Sheldon has his ideas how they should complete the Dating Procedure. Drabble.


**The Dating Procedure**

'The Moment' had arrived, that uneasy space between the date being unofficially over and the daters parting ways for the night. And even though she lived in the opposite apartment not five steps away from him, throughout the night Sheldon had been very proudly demonstrating his newly researched knowledge on the dating procedure, and as such had insisted he walk her right up to her door.

"Well, thank you for – what turned out to be – an unexpectedly good evening," Penny thanked him, her eyes twinkling.

Though she knew what was to be expected next, her date for the evening, meanwhile, looked blissfully unaware of what Penny was anticipating.

"Uh sweetie, when you were doing your little research thing, did'ya stop at walking your date to the door?"

Sheldon's look glazed over for a moment, as if he were reciting in his head the schedule of events for that evening (which he probably was), then his eyes slipped back into focus with a contented smile. 'I don't believe I've skipped any protocols of a first date," he said confidently. "I even 'checked you out' as you left to powder your nose before dessert, which as you're probably aware is a vital practise for both participants in order to evaluate if the other person would make a compatible sexual partner."

"Woah," she said, holding her hands up as though to prevent him from declaring anything else he may have thought of this evening. "_Way_ before we get into _any_ of all that stuff, there's something else we gotta do that's kinda customary at this point?" Penny raised her eyebrows suggestively.

But Sheldon shook his head. "You know my abilities of correctly interpreting physical cues to be paltry, could you perhaps be clearer in what you are attempting to convey?"

Penny nudged him with her elbow and grinned a little sheepishly. "_You know_," she hinted playfully.

Of course this moment had to be awkward, it was like a written commandant in the Big Book of Dating, but did he really have to make it _this_ _painful_?

Sheldon studied her body language, then with a shake of his head, hazarded a guess. "Are you trying to communicate for us to conclude the evening with the conventional end-of-the-night first kiss?"

His tone was so matter-of-fact that Penny almost laughed. "Well, yeah," she smiled shyly, feeling flattened by his blunt response. Being so logic about the scenario was frustrating. Didn't he know this was supposed to be the most awkward and embarrassing part of the date?

"Alright, I understand that this is supposed to be the most awkward and embarrassing part of the date," said Sheldon in an even tone, "so I wanted to wait until you felt comfortable enough to proceed."

This time Penny did laugh, and gave his shoulder a friendly push. "Of course I feel _comfortable_, Sheldon!"

"Actually I believe your nervous laughter is evidence to the contrary," replied Sheldon, and he sighed as if he felt sorry for her. "I really don't understand this inherent awkwardness roused in both parties when they reach this stage in the date, it is utterly superfluous, not to mention ridiculous."

"Oh…" was the only response Penny was able to muster, feeling more alienated from him than at any other time during their date.

"Of course," he continued, "I understand that for two strangers having just met this certainly is a crucial junction because this is the moment in which two people truly test their compatibility. It's not just a social understanding, it's written in biology. But you and I have known each other for several years now, and during that time surely we have already undertaken that test."

Penny considered his proposal hard for a moment. Finally she nodded, slowly. "I guess I see what you're saying. We already know how compatible we are by living around each other for a while. We already know our feelings and stuff, one little kiss won't make all that difference…. Sure, ok then." Penny straightened up, closed her eyes, and braced herself. "No awkwardness. Just straight to the good stuff. I'm ready! Kiss me."

Penny stood with her eyes shut tight, bracing herself for the moment that was finally upon them, but what Sheldon actually did took her by surprise.

She felt him take her hand, raise it to his lips and touch them gently against her skin. "Goodnight Penny, thank you for a wonderful evening," he said sweetly. He gave her a quick smile, before turning to his own door and fumbling through his pockets for his key.

Penny touched the part of her hand he had kissed, looking at it intently, and then gazed over toward him.

"What the hell was that?"

Sheldon inserted his key into the lock before turning back to her, looking slightly alarmed by her hard tone. "Well, _I_ understand that there should be no issue between us as a result of a first kiss Penny, but you still don't seem so sure."

"Oh, _I'm_ embarrassed?" She gave a dry laugh. "I'm not the one who's afraid to put their emotions where their mouth is! You're the one who just kissed my hand - I'm your date, not your grandmother!"

Sheldon gasped dramatically and his face twitching with both shock and insult gave Penny the impression he was malfunctioning. "You leave Mee-maw out of this!" he rasped. "I was trying to be considerate of your discomfort."

"No you weren't, you're just as nervous about this as I am," said Penny, much softer now, and she touched her hand to his shoulder. At once Sheldon's twitching ceased and he was left looking half dazed in the warmth of her calm look. "But sweetie, that wasn't a goodnight kiss - this is."

And with the lightest of touches Penny slid her arms around Sheldon's shoulders to pull him closer, closed her eyes, and engaged his lips with hers.

With the potential awkwardness averted and the inherent embarrassment melting away there was nothing left but the sensation of finally knowing what kissing the other was like. It was a direct and to-the-point biology test. And Wow, thought Penny, did he ace it.

Until the door Sheldon was leaning against pulled open.

Sheldon fell backwards away from Penny, their lips disconnecting with a smacking sound, and he stumbled back into Leonard, stood in the now-open doorway.

Penny gasped as she saw him, and Sheldon staggered upright again, being sure to keep a deliberate distance between himself and his date.

"Oh," said Leonard in a small voice to Sheldon, who was brushing down his suit trying to regain a dignified look. "I heard a noise against the door, I thought you'd locked yourself out."

The three of them stood in a fragile silence for a moment too long. "So," said Leonard finally. "How did the first date go?"

Well, thought Penny, that effectively put an end to Sheldon's theory that a first kiss didn't have to be an awkward moment.

_A/N: Written for the Paradox drabble-a-thon, original drabble much shortened, based on the prompt 'First Kiss'._


End file.
